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How To Survive A Deadly Pandemic


Unless you’ve been really actively avoiding the news, you’ve probably heard of this virus called Covid-19 that’s taking over the world. It’s got everything you’d expect from a regular old flu, only that it’s way more contagious and slightly more lethal. You might be asking yourself how you might survive a virus like that, but we’ve got just the tips that will help you.

Don’t Touch People

They might be carrying the virus and infect you while you’re hugging them or shaking their hand. It’s the perfect excuse to stay at least an arm’s length away from people at all times, so use it. Pandemics don’t come around very often.

Stay Calm

There’s very little you can do about the situation (unless you’re a virologist) anyway, so the best thing you can do is stay calm and make your quarantine as bearable as possible. Read a book, take a nice long bath, watch that movie you’ve always wanted to. Maybe even take up a new hobby – you’ll have time to burn for the next two weeks anyway.

Stop Fighting Over Toilet Paper

Seriously people, I don’t even care anymore. I can’t read another article about people hoarding toilet paper like all we’re going to do from now until the day of our demise is go answer nature’s call. If you’re filling up your cart with dozens of rolls of toilet paper but not a single food product, you won’t even need the toilet paper because your body wouldn’t be digesting anything. Also, fighting means touching people, and that’s how you get sick. See above.

Stay Inside When You’re Sick

This kind of goes without saying, but don’t leave the house if you have symptoms. No need to take everyone else down with you. If you would’ve followed the other rules in this article, you wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place. And let’s be honest: there’s worse places to be than indoors. How else are you going to finish that gaming backlog you’ve built up over the years?

Don’t Travel to Infected Areas

I know the Easter holiday is coming up and you’ve been wanting to visit China or go skiing in Italy. Just don’t. China and Italy will be there next year, Covid-19 (hopefully) won’t. Get your priorities straight.

Avoid Crowded Areas

Taking a busy train or walking on the street in a big city where there have been confirmed infections is pretty much playing the health lottery these days. And unlike the real lottery, there’s a genuine chance that you’ll win. And also unlike the real lottery, winning actually means you lose.