What simile would you employ to stress the uniqueness of a thing or a person? Let me guess. As unique as your fingerprints? As unique as a snowflake? True. True. However, I suggest a new one: as unique as a cat. Simply because each of our feline friends (as we, silly human idiots, would like and expect them to be) have a distinctive personality of their own. Actually so distinctive that it’s quite a challenging task to find a pair of two-peas-in-a-pod meowsers.
Lingvistov, a duo of Russian doodlers, arrived at a marvelous idea to classify the all-inclusive variety of tabbies and visualize the subclasses of home tigers through hilarious and so-true illustrations. After months of extensive research, tons of tumbleweeds of feline fur rolling across the floor, and hundreds of scratches on their arms, they came up with 12 types of cats – a noble contribution to the Internet’s admiration of purrers.
What is your kitty’s temper? Does it perfectly represent one of the following types? Or is it rather a combination of ‘useless douche’ and ‘little shit?’ Take a look at the illustrations accompanied with short pieces of info to understand little balls of fur better.
Monster Muncher
Favorite excuses: “I didn’t go to the gym today because I got stuck in the cat door.”
Little Shit
Favorite quote: “Why? Because f*** you, that’s why!”
Nut Job
Hobbies: to eat the brains of baby squirrels after chasing and terrorizing a puny local tail-wagger.
Poopurr
Phobias: “The litter box makes me feel claustrophobic!”
Edward Scissorpaws
Interests: to annihilate its human’s possessions and adjust its butthole to its human’s face thereafter.
Hobo
Skills: “Will purr for food.”
Catsanova
Chronic diseases: “Spring fever – I have it all year long, ladies.”
Mr. Sir
Responsibilities: “As the Ambassador of the United Kingdom of the Felines, I bestow the royal grace and mercy upon the barbaric tribe identified as the Humans in order to maintain peace and take a daily homage in the form of cat food”.
Hairless Creep
Basic needs: to have a local human as a heat generator.
Useless Douche
Dreams: “I caught the Red Dot. It was yummy!”
Stinkerbell
Favorite song: ‘Smelly cat’ by Phoebe Buffay.
Schrödinger’s Cat
Favorite thought experiments: When it fits, it sits, or doesn’t.
