When you watch an action movie, you want to see the guy (or girl) in charge mess everything up. You want to watch someone that has a “zero fucks given” attitude and throws themselves at danger, only to come out on top. You want the action hero equivalent of Donald Trump, basically. Only that you’ll be able to tell your friends you’re on his side. So I guess not really like Donald Trump. Anyway, I digress.
Action heroes have to be everyday men or women that kick ass in a way very few people could. You have to watch them do things that are almost unnatural, so you’re feeling really sorry for those 30-or-so well-armed highly-trained mercenaries that have to take on this random citizen that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Also, you want him to blow lots of things up. Explosions everywhere. Trust me, I’ve seen at least four movies in my days, and I can assure you I thoroughly enjoyed the ones with explosions more. Then again, the other one was The Notebook. Not really raising the bar all too much there.
Anyway, here’s some of the most badass action heroes Hollywood has given us.
11. Martin Riggs
Lethal Weapon? More like Lethal Mullet, am I right? Guys? But yeah, he’s one of those loose cannon cops. And the regular cops are shooting black people faster than we can count, imagine what kind of damage a slightly insane one could do.
10. Leon Montana
This guy is a hitman that teaches little girls to also become hitmen. I’m not saying he’s probably not a nice guy once you get to know him, but I’d stay the fuck away from him. At all costs.
He named himself after his weapon of choice to kill people with. I mean, that’s dedication to the act of being a bonafide badass, if nothing else.
8. Jason Bourne
What’s more dangerous than a highly trained hitman? A highly trained hitman without a memory! Played by Matt Damon, Jason Bourne is the most badass of badasses. They’re kind of turning this into a new James Bond so expect lots and lots of movies to come in the future.
7. Ranger Cordell Walker
If you can keep Texas safe, you earn a spot on the badass list. Roundhouse kick crime in the face, dammit!
6. John Matrix
Want to kidnap an elite Black Ops Commando’s daughter? That’s right, you don’t. You don’t want to mess with John at all.
5. James Bond
While James Bond used to be a fancy British alcoholic spy, the latest iterations have turned him more into a badass and less into a “I hope Q has the right gadget for me to deal with this situation”-ass. Daniel Craig would kick Pierce Brosnan’s ass any day.
4. John Rambo
What happens when a war veteran gets PTSD because of a small town that won’t accept him as a human being? He wipes them all out. Don’t worry – they drew first blood.
3. Ethan Hunt
Ethan Hunt is – apart from being Tom Cruise in real life – the guy you go to when no one else can get the job done. Need to stop a dangerous virus in 72 hours? Ethan’s your man. Need to win an argument from your girlfriend? Ethan’s got your back.
2. John McClane
If you crash a Christmas party you’re not invited to, you can be damn sure John McClane will blow the entire building up just to get to you. He’s the real life Grinch, this man.
If I need to tell you why you don’t want to mess with Bruce Lee, I fear you might get fatally injured sooner or later anyway.