What if I told you that Chinese culture is completely different from the Western culture? Yeah, and if you add the fact that there are literally billions of people living there, you may find some weird items being sold throughout the country. And it doesn’t really matter if you’re in a huge Chinese WalMart, or just on the outskirts of a small town – these weird things are probably going to blow your mind.
Technically, you can rent them, but it’s close enough, right? And it’s actually a pretty great gig for us whites. Some Chinese businessmen like to rent white “actors” to stand beside them at important business meetings. Not only that, but they’re also being rented to advertise real estate, because, apparently white people make the land and homes seem more expensive and classier than it actually is.
I can see you’re still out of breath from that last one… How about trying out canned air? Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like – fresh air with or without additional flavors, packed in a can and sold for 5 yuan. To be fair, with the horribly polluted air in China, all you sometimes want is to feel that breezy freshness in your nostrils.
Have you seen the horror movie Leatherface? Hopefully you have, otherwise, you may not like what you’re about to see. As you may have heard, Chinese people will eat pretty much anything. You can get almost any part of a pig on the market, including its face.
DIY Abortion Kits
Taobao, is a Chinese online shopping platform, kind of like Amazon, where you’ll find these home abortion kits. Maybe it’s because of the overpopulation, or something else, but it just doesn’t feel right to me. Around 4% of China’s female teenagers end up with an unplanned pregnancy, and 90% of them decide to keep the baby, but do these DIY kits actually save money?
Vending Machines with Live Crabs
Don’t you love those random vending machine with all sorts of snacks? Mm, yeah, how about instead of Kit Kats and chips you get… live crabs? This VM keeps the hairy crabs dormant and sells them for 20RMB ($3.27) with crab vinegar and two bags of ginger tea. On average one machine sells about 200 crabs a day!
A Plastic Boyfriend
Unlike in real life, you don’t have to blow this one first. It’s always ready to comfort those lonely single women in China. These dolls even have different “age ranges” you can choose from: from creepy Ken Doll to a golden age Burt Reynolds-esque stud. What are you still waiting for?
Live Animal Keychains
So you’ve always wanted to have a pet that you don’t have to look after? First of all, f#$k you, that’s not how it works, and second – congrats, now you can wear living animal around your neck! Some street vendors in China started selling small animals like turtles, lizards, and various fish, neatly packed inside of little plastic pouches, that can double as keychains. Although, the vendors claim that these pouches supposedly have enough nutrients to keep the animals alive for a few days, I personally would not believe a single word coming out of their filthy mouth holes.
Merchandise with Barack Obama And Kim Jong-un Hugging
For some reason this particular “bromance” has become increasingly popular in China, and now they have all kinds of chimer with these two love-doves. There are even Chinese tea ads featuring Obama and Kim Jong-un hugging with the words, “after drinking, the people of the world will become united.”
Known as Silkie chickens, this breed’s skin and bones are completely black and their meat is often cooked into a broth and is then fed to mothers that have just given birth. Although the actual origin of these black birds is unknown, they have been used in traditional Chinese medicine for centuries.