We’ve all been there at some point. You meet a girl, become genuinely interested in her, get to know her better. Time goes by and you two create a bond. Then you try to make a move and she says she’d rather just be friends. Where did you go wrong?
Well, here’s a bunch of points where you went wrong.
There’s a few subtle cues about how you can know you’re boring in the other person’s eyes. Do you often keep quiet when you hang out because you want it to be all about the other person? That just looks like you have nothing to say. Are you always the one that texts first to hang out and spend time together? That just looks like you have nothing to do. Now what do we call someone that has nothing to say and nothing to do? Exactly.
You’re a Smoker
To non-smokers, this is one of the least attractive things you can do. We all have bad habits, but not every bad habit needs to have an impact on your romantic relationship the way things like smoking, gambling, heavy drinking, etc … do. The least you can do is acknowledge it’s annoying and say you want to stop eventually. Maybe one day you’ll even mean it, too.
I know we try to call it slut shaming so we’d feel bad about the people that raise an eyebrow at people that have had quite a tumultuous relationship history, but the fact remains that some people will and that’s entirely their right. Think of it as a resume, where companies are going to be less likely to hire people that switch jobs every other year.
No Signals Whatsoever
At some point when you’re having fun together, someone is going to have to draw a line. There’s a risk that person won’t follow you over it, but wouldn’t you rather find out sooner than later? No reason to invest months of energy and time into a person if they have no desire to pursue you romantically. Give out hints, send out signals, allow them to pull the plug on it for you if they don’t want the same thing.
You’re a Sibling, Not a Partner
Don’t be the person that doesn’t want to go on typical dates because you don’t want to send off vibes too soon. You know who else don’t go on typical dates? Siblings. You’re becoming a brother or sister, not a potential partner. You set this goal post for yourself, don’t blame the other person for misinterpreting your intentions.
There’s An Annoying Factor About You
It could be your voice, your laugh, the frequency at which you blink your eyes, just name it. There’s something about you that annoys people on a base level. It may not always be something you can help or an issue that you can solve, but it exists. And not only will it annoy your potential partner, but probably their parents, family, friends, … Try to find out what it is and how you can play around it.
You Try Too Hard
Any romantic will tell you that there’s no such thing, but that romantic is either single or a liar. Everyone that’s dating has insecurities. Everyone knows they’re not perfect. You going above and beyond isn’t cute; it’s creepy, delusional and borderline psychopathic.
One of The Guys/Gals
This is simple logic. If person A does everything with person B’s friends around, eventually person A will become part of the friend group of person B. Person A will get friendzoned and outraged at person B, who will be none the wiser.