While some people might consider a certain celebrity to be their hero, they’re not really heroes. I swear. They’re just regular people with more money than us. Contrary to what my eight year old self desperately wanted to be true, Superman does not walk among us. That said, some of those famous people might blur the lines between fantasy and reality and have “abilities” that would appear inhuman or superhuman.
Let me rephrase that: there’s no one alive that has the ability of flight or pyrokinesis. Trust me, I’d know. But there are some people out there who can push the limits of what we consider to be “normal” in a good way, leading to some unique thing that they can do. And they’re famous, so why not give them a little shine with that nice lil’ spotlight of ours? And hey, someone better get to work on branding and costumes and shit. We need to turn this into a well-oiled machine so we can get a real life Avengers or Justice League going on here. The world needs us.
Daniel Browning Smith
Power: super flexibility. Daniel can pretty much twist himself into any shape you don’t want to be stuck in if you have a really bad back. Practical use of superpower: folding oneself up to fit inside a box, folding oneself up to talk out of an ass-microphone, making people go “ew that’s gross” when you do things with your limbs (he can dislocate all four of them at will, by the way).
Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson
Power: super strength. Also known as The Mountain from Game of Thrones. You might have heard about that show. He also participates in strongman competitions, which probably means he’s a strong man. I mean, why else join. He looks like he could wrestle a bear The Revenant-style, though.