Want to feel confused, puzzled, and WTF’d (yeah, it’s not a real word, I know)? Let’s go on an adventure to the land of strangest and really freaky games! Each time you ask yourself “what the hell was that” or “why is this game a thing” – drink a cup of tea. As most of these games are pretty old, I will try to illustrate their unconventionality by linking appropriate let’s-plays, instead of trailers.
I strongly advise you not to watch these videos on LSD or drugs in general, that will not end well for you. Also, strong language in the videos, so you’ve been warned.
Let us begin!
Enviro Bear 2000
Imagine you’re a hungry brown bear and it’s almost winter. It’s getting colder, so you need to eat a lot of fish to have that fatty fat for the hibernation. But, the gosh darn car is just so hard to steer with only one paw! And you have to watch out for the bees and angry badgers while you munch on that delicious salmon and yummy berries. Give it a try, if you’re brave enough!
This action-adventure for the Famicom lets the player do some of the actions you’d never expect to see in a game, especially a really ancient one. There are no tutorials (obviously), so you have no idea what to do and you have to do a LOT to beat this game. Go to the bank, deposit money, divorce your wife, get your money back, fly above the ocean, get to the cave, beat skeletons and other baddies, an get to the victory screen just to see… Well, you better see it yourself. So worth it!
I heard you like bodybuilders! This game will blow your brains out with its silliness. The plot is so thin, you won’t even notice it’s there, but basically, someone steals your protein pills and your whole gym goes after the dirty thief. So far so good, right? Wrong! Gameplay consists almost entirely of doing a series of poses to fit through holes left by your target. That’s just the best worst game mechanic a game can have… or so I’ve thought.
This must be the most unique Dreamcast title ever. Here you’ll be taking care of the human-faced aquatic creature (hence, Seaman), interacting with it only via a microphone. Respond to his questions and ask him about stuff. You must feed him and kept him company, otherwise he may even die!
Good lord, is this game fun, or what! Goat Sim was created as a joke about GTA, Pay Day and all their clones. You’re playing as a goat and you interact with the open world by either licking stuff or headbutting it. Currently there are hundreds if not thousands of Easter eggs and fun activities your goat can stumble upon. Actually, the new Pay Day update added a dolphin in a wheelchair, a flamingo, a camel and a bigger goat. We all needed a bigger goat. It’s fun (but still weird), so why don’t you try it out?
Japan World Cup
Japan, man… They know how to make your brain uncomfortable. Even something as simple as horse racing can be twisted so much, you’ll be either laughing your ass off at the insanity of what you’re seeing, or… you won’t. Here are a few characters that you may see in this masterpiece: a Trojan horse, a yeti, a panda, and a horse than runs on two legs and does ballet twirls. The announcers are not slacking off either! Feel the madness!
Who’s Your Daddy
If you have kids, you’ve probably done some baby-proofing, like put soft corners on your furniture. That’s basically what this game is all about: you walk around the apartment trying to remove all sorts of dangerous objects from your baby’s way, and meanwhile your little offspring tries to kill itself with batteries, bleach or simply by jabbing a fork into an outlet. Don’t try playing it if you’re icky, though, you will not like it. Otherwise grab it here and play it with your friend!