In the words of the legendary comedian Jerry Seinfeld: “What’s the deal with women?”
I’m a grown-ass man, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around some of the stuff the ladies do. So how would you like to learn the real reason behind girls stealing food from your plate, or going to the bathroom with other girls? Either way, here’s a list of 7 things men still don’t understand about women.
Why are women cold all the time?
If you’ve ever worked in one office space with a woman, you probably heard them nag about the AC. Even if it’s a middle of the summer! What gives? Is it some kind of a mind game to establish dominance? Well, turns out that a revolutionary scientific study has proven that our dear girls may indeed be cold. Shocking, I know! But how do you fight something like cold? This will remain a mystery for now.
Women sure do love bad boys.
You know the type: a big dude with tats/leather jacket/motorcycle, maybe some face scars. Basically the anarchist type who just doesn’t give a hoot about anything. And the reason women lose their panties from just gazing upon these bad boys, is pretty simple – they’re not boring. Simple as that. Kinda disappointing answer, to be honest. I was gonna guess “genetic fetish”, but apparently bad boys are fun at parties!
When she says it’s “fine”, but you know you’re dead.
You may have felt the “death stare” of a woman telling you she’s fine on your own skin, and if you haven’t – don’t lie to me, I know you have. It never ends well, that’s a given, but why do they say “it’s fine”? If you’re not fine, just say it, goddamit, I can’t read minds, woman!
Why is she stealing my fries?
“That’s 1 big fries with ketchup for me, and a salad for the lady. Maybe you want fries too? No? Okay then!”
Then your order comes, and you end up sharing your wonderfully crispy fries with the fry-inhaling machine that is your girl. For f#ck’s sake, get your own fries! Is it so hard to say “and 1 small fries for me, please”? And don’t get me started on anything containing meat. It’s always “just 1 bite, babe, I swear”, and she literally bites your elbow. Just like Joey, I don’t share food!
What’s the deal with the “bathroom parties”?
One of the biggest mysteries is about to be revealed… Whenever a group of girls goes to the bathroom, the remaining men can’t help but wonder what the hell is going on behind those doors. Hey, it’s great that women choose not to discuss any of those things at the dinner table. Thanks, girls!
Speaking of gossip…
Generally we don’t care too much about who’s dating who, who broke up, and who said what about whom, unless it’s about your relatives or really close friends. Some women, though, think it’s their sole mission on this planet to gather unnecessary info on the surrounding people, and unload it somewhere in the women’s bathroom (how poetic, I know!). Science is still on the fence about gossiping, but it’s most likely caused by a harsh childhood. And that’s a 100% legit reason, and not something I’ve made up just now.
Are you ready yet, honey?
“What’s that? 5 more minutes? But we’re already 50 minutes late to our own wedding!”
It’s actually a pet peeve of mine, when people outright lie to me about the time they need to get ready. It just so happens that 99% of the time it’s the girls. This one time I was meeting my neighbor, waiting outside because she’d said she would be out in 2 minutes. Now guess how long it took her to “close the door” and come down? From the “putting the shoes on” till “hi, sorry”, it was 35 minutes. 35 f#cking minutes. How? Why? I don’t know till this day, and I’m too afraid to ask.