Many great things in life come in small packages: baby carrots, spy cameras, Firefly season 1… and also humans. As a 6’2” giant, I can’t relate to any of the things you’ll about to see, but theoretically I understand how not being able to reach your favorite cereals may be one of the most infuriating things in the world. We, the “giants”, have a bunch of problems too, but that’s for another day maybe. Today, however, I want to give a boost to the vertically challenged!
1. This must be the biggest issue: can’t f#$%ing reach anything! And to add insult to injury, the best stuff is always on the top shelf.
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2. Why would the store keep the XXS sizes on the freaking ceiling!?
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3. That fishtail would fit nicely on my leg, though. Where can I buy two?
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4. Being 4’10” must feel like hell.
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5. That towel seat, though. Pretty brilliant move!
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6. Just you wait a few years, and maybe, somehow… she’ll be able to say NO. For now he’s hooked here with his sense of humor, so that should be enough for a month or two.
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7. I know how to fix this: wear a baseball cap! Or sunglasses.
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8. Short people should always carry a tiny folding chair, so they can enjoy stuff as well.
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9. Spontaneous group photos – short people’s greatest weakness.
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10. How else would you do it? Well, you can always hit the kneecaps and make the person kneel, but, I can see how that would furrow a few eyebrows.
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11. Maybe this is just a child’s bed… Naaaah, somewhere out there there’s an itsy-bitsy little princess that needs a step ladder to climb into her bed every freaking day. How is this real?
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12. Maybe try switching to a front loading washer?
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13. Remember kids, do NOT use a short person as an arm rest… Unless you’re Michelle Obama.
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14. Who put the best pot up there?
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15. But you can swing your legs all day long! How is this a bad thing?
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16. Wow, that whoever built that house really hated the shorties. Even I wouldn’t be able to reach it easily.
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17. You don’t know the half of it, girl! And I mean, like, the actual half.
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18. Would you rather have the soap dispenser bolted to the ceiling? Yeah, thought so.
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19. You know, sharp pointy corners will hit you in the gut regardless of your height. That’s just how this world works.
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20. I would a 1000% do this. Not even joking. I’m talking like every day.
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