Are you like normal people and do you appreciate a cellphone not blowing the hell up? Then this article is right up your alley! I mean, I can’t blame people for not wanting exploding electronics anywhere near their genitalia. It sounds like some method of torture a Bond villain would use. Like in Casino Royale how they sat Bond down on a chair buck-ass nekkid and flung a club into his wee-hoo. That level of torture give me good bumps.
Since the Holidays are quickly approaching, it might make some sense to start looking for stuff to spend all that sweet Christmas money on. And for you Black Friday shoppers: don’t trample people – shop online. Get with the program. There’s no real use in turning this into an “Apple is better because it doesn’t explode” list, so we’re sticking purely to Android replacements for your handheld bombing device. Let’s take a look at some of the best android phones money can buy that hold little to no short-term risk to your personal health.
7. Sony Xperia Z5 Premium
It was bound to happen, but here it is: the first 4k phone. While this may sound amazing, this essentially means the phone is more expensive and the battery drains a lot faster. There’s also no real innovation in the phone design, but I mean, how far can you go in designing what’s essentially a rectangle? The phone has an amazing 23 MP camera, is water resistant and has a top notch fingerprint scanner. It has 32 GB of internal memory and weighs only 180 grams. The display on this one is absolutely huge with 5,5 inches. Note to guys out there: 5,5 inches is only huge for smartphone screens.
6. Google Pixel XL
If you want to take amazing pictures with your phone, this is the machine for you. The only real downside to this phone is that it has no stereo speakers and isn’t waterproofed. Apart from that, it’s pretty much the Android experience at its best. It has a really clean interface and the fingerprint scanner uses gestures to give you easier access to notifications. As with most top-notch smartphones, however, the price card on it is quite steep.
5. OnePlus 3
While this is an amazing phone price/quality wise, it does suffer from the “we need to keep the price low” issues you’d expect. The battery doesn’t last all that long and there’s no MicroSD slot. If that doesn’t put you off and you don’t have the money to get the top 3 on this list, this is the best phone money can buy.
4. LG G5
This one is pretty damn amazing. It’s a modular phone, which means it allows you to swap out features and replace them with something else. The modules can be pulled out the bottom of the phone and replaced with something else to give better audio, for example. The design isn’t to everyone’s taste, but no design ever is. The performance on this phone is simply amazing.
3. HTC 10
This is the phone for the audiophiles among us. The audio on this phone is simply phenomenal, as is the 5,2 inch 2k display. The camera isn’t too impressive however with only a 12 MP back camera and there’s still some slight bugs in the system. While the design has been overhauled, it still has a lot of similarities with the regular HTC design.
2. Motorola Moto Z
Like the LG G5, this is a modular phone. It’s just better. It’s also the world’s thinnest phone, which means it sadly has less battery life and lacks a headphone jack. If you don’t care about any of that, however, it’s probably the most innovative device on the market.
1. Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge
This is the one that doesn’t blow up! Honestly, the only real downside to this one is that it’ll cost you a kidney and your firstborn child. The S7 Edge is essentially the S6 Edge without all the flaws. The camera is amazing, the curved screen is amazing, the processing power is amazing, the bragging rights are amazing, … If money isn’t a problem, this is the best phone you can get. No question about it.
