There are times in our lives when we come across a good idea. And then there are moments when the idea reaches levels of pure genius. The list we are about to show you belongs in neither category. Yes, my friends, we’re talking about weird candle scents that should make you question our Candle-Making Overlord’s sanity. Sure, I could think of a few candle scent ideas that are probably more insane. In fact, I will. How about pepperoni pizza? Or mermaid with a case of the crabs? Brand new filthy blanket? Okay, I stole that joke from The Simpsons. Anyway, here are 12 candle scents that ought to scare you as well as the mind-altering substance that the inventor must have been on.
1. Beard
What it probably smells like: bacon and beer
Mind-altering substance: Jack Daniels
2. Wedding
What it probably smells like: Very fishy
Mind-altering substance: The baby on the way
3. Divorce Papers
What it probably smells like: Irreconcilable differences
Mind-altering substance: Money
4. Margarita Time
What it probably smells like: A margarita, more than likely
Mind-altering substance: Work-related stress
5. Schnitzel with Noodles
What it probably smells like: Home cookin’. But only if Germany is your home.
Mind-altering substance: Nostalgia
6. Bacon
What it probably smells like: Porkish
Mind-altering substance: Pure bliss
7. New Mac
What it probably smells like: Pure pretentiousness
Mind-altering substance: Double Orange Mocha Frappuccino
8. Bavarian Pretzel
What it probably smells like: A room full of Oktoberfest patrons who haven’t showered since the festivities began two weeks earlier.
Mind-altering substance: Weihenstephan Hefe Weissbier
9. Fireplace
What it probably smells like: warm winter night
Mind-altering substance: Aristocracy
10. Whiskers on Kittens
What it probably smells like: A few of our least favorite things
Mind-altering substance: Catnip
11. Old Books
What it probably smells like: Books that wistfully remember their days of youth
Mind-altering substance: Antiquity
12. Sexy Librarian
What it probably smells like: Chanel Coco Mademoiselle Eau de Parfum
Mind-altering substance: Late fees
