Guys, are you tired of being single? Don’t you wish you had that special someone who’s always nagging you when all you want to do is watch the World freakin’ Series in peace? In all seriousness, it sucks to not have a girlfriend, right? But don’t despair. If you play your cards right and use a bit of ingenuity, you might just melt the heart of that girl you’ve been stalking…oh geez, I meant “dreaming about.” Slip of the tongue. Happens all the time. Anyway, here are 10 clever ways to ask a girl out.
1. We’re Talking Baseball
Oh! A second baseball reference and we’ve only just started this article. Nice! Okay, here’s an explanation. So, like, in baseball one of the objectives of the game is to catch the ball so that the opposing team’s batter is out. But here, the guy is asking the girl if she will be his catch! Get it? Funny.
2. Overload Her Brain
The strategy here is to turn the note into a game that requires the girl to really think hard. Or Google for answers. Either way, by the time she gets to the bottom of the note, she has burned through so many brain cells that she finally just says, “Yes!” or, alternatively “Yes!” Two choices, you see.
3. Napkin Notes Are Always Classy
In this particular scenario, we can imagine a guy grabbing a napkin during lunch, jotting down this message, and handing it to the lovely lady in the next booth. Smiling is her way of accepting the proposition.
4. Steal Her iPhone
Here’s the story on this: When the girl wasn’t looking, the guy snatched her iPhone and replaced his name on her contact list with “Will You Be My Girlfriend? :)” Later when he called, this was the message she got. We can only wonder how silly he felt when she pressed “decline.”
5. Ask a Starbucks Employee to Conspire With You
There are two things we all know about Starbucks employees. 1.) They serve up a mean cup of joe. 2.) They take a great deal of time to build up trust with customers. Like, several months. But once they are ready, they will help customers swoon the girl of their dreams.
6. It Ain’t Easy Being Cheesy
As the message on this pizza box indicates, a really, really terrible joke is the perfect way to win over a girl.
7. Candy Rain
Okay, this one actually did take some amount of effort. And it was very polite. Writing something like “And then afterwards we will Skor” would have been bold, but probably would have earned the message writer a well-deserved slap to the face.
8. Get an Endorsement From Disney
Let’s be honest, if all of our Disney pals are supportive of this, then who wouldn’t be?
9. That’s the Way the Cookie Crumbles
Okay, not bad.
10. Would Somebody Please Take Away That Guy’s Phone?
I think it’s time to call your senator or congressperson and insist that they vote to ban improper use of emojis.