I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to get my hopes and dreams smashed by the upcoming season of G.R.R. Martin’s epic saga. In fact, I’m still internally crying every time I’m reminded of that swift chop that beheaded Ned Stark in season 1. And that was like 7 years ago! Daenerys is about to murder half of Westeros, the White Walkers will probably “recruit” those dead bodies into their own army, and the poor Starks will have to deal with all this nasty shit using a bucket of Dragonglass and maybe one of Dany’s pet Charizards. Those poor bastards. But here’s where the fun part starts. Who’s going to die this season? Probably not Dany, Jon, or Tyrion, so who’s left then? Here are 5 of the more likely candidates.
Theon Greyjoy
Now, in any other show or story set in a fantasy world, Theon would probably end up killing his evil uncle Euron, getting that sweet-sweet crown for himself. But this is GRRM’s fantasy, so the kid’s gonna definitely die a painful and excruciating death. Just “for teh lulz”, and because he betrayed the Starks way back when. His only chance to survive would be to stay in the back and let Dany and her “kids” do all the dirty work. But that’s not how George likes his characters. My bet is on drowning. I can already see Theon tackling Euron on that narrow bridge, where his uncle got rid of the old king. It’s karmic justice, plus a fan-favorite dies, in GRRM’s book that’s a WIN-WIN scenario!
Jaime Lannister
Just like Theon, Jaime has done some stupid, yet justifiable stuff in the past, as well as some pretty decent deeds, which makes him one of the most interesting characters in Game of Thrones. And as it happens to interesting characters – they usually die in the world of Westeros. And all that time spent with Brienne has made him a slightly better person, even though he did not shoot Cersei on the spot when she blew up the Sept, which made their son think he could fly. Oops, spoilers! I personally hope Jaime lives to fight another season, which makes me paranoid in the first place. I’m gonna say he’ll lose his other hand before getting stabbed a million times. Well, at least Jorah is still alive and kicking! … Oh, no…
Jorah Mormont
I had to open my big figurative mouth and drag poor Jorah into this, didn’t I? He’s like the king of friendzone in GoT, there’s no way they’ll kill a king-… Okay, there might be a slight chance for that to happen. Even if he somehow cures the Grayscale, I’m certain GRRM will find a way to make this guy’s life miserable, while also showing how badass he actually is. Hey, maybe it’s Martin’s avatar inside Westeros, hm? Eh, probably not, but that train of thought just gave me a glimmer of hope! But yeah, let’s be real, my bet’s on “death by petrification”.
Melisandre
As much as we’ve all enjoyed her, uh, “bath” scenes the Red Witch has to pay for what she did at some point. Remember that kid-friendly BBQ she did for Stannis? Yeah, the North remembers that as well. Not to mention that she’s heading towards Arya Stark, who, as you may remember, has Melisandre in her to-kill list. Maybe she’ll tell Arya about Jon’s resurrection and it’ll all be good? Yeah, not a chance, the Red Witch will most likely die by Arya’s Needle being swiftly thrusted through her throat or eyeball.
Cersei Lannister
Okay, you’ve probably seen this one coming from a mile away, yes, Cersei will 100% be dead by the end of season 8, but there’s a huge chance Jaime will disembowel the mother-bitch with his metal hand, or something. Look, I’m no GRRM, okay? She’s gonna die, and to prove that, there’s even a prophecy that states “your valonqar is gonna kill you”. Valonqar in Valyrian means brother, sister, and sibling, so it could be Jaime, Tyrion, or even Dany herself, as they’re loosely related, if I remember correctly. One way or another, the queen is going to bite the dust, finally, and that’s one death I’ll be fine with.
I’m sure there will be more than 5 major deaths this season, but who’d you nominate for the “Ned Stark” Award? Leave your answers in the comments!
