What’s the opposite of “cream of the crop”? “Bile from the bottom”? Whatever it is, it’s this freaking list of movies. Here I’ve picked 10 absolutely worst flicks of 2018. And remember, even if some of them look pretty, they don’t get a pass!
1. Pacific Rim: Uprising
What the hell was that movie? Half of it was human drama nobody cared about, and another half we had Jaegers fighting other Jaegers. Just let Guillermo del Toro finish what he started for once!
2. Mortal Engines
Horrible plot “twists”, stealing scenes and plot points from other, better-written movies, and the protagonist couple so dull and lifeless, you feel like leaving the cinema after about 40 minutes – all that and many more disappointments from Peter Jackson. Whose name is for some reason plastered all over this movie.
3. The Nutcracker and the Four Realms
Remember when the Nutcracker was good? Tchaikovsky remembers, but he’s been dead for a while, so we’re stuck with Disney writers “reinventing the wheel”. I can’t say a single good thing about this movie… okay, the costumes were gorgeous, but that’s it.
4. The Cloverfield Paradox
Dropped on us like a surprise Taco Monday, the so-called Cloverfield Paradox was nothing more than a shoo-in to keep the Cloverfield franchise relevant.
5. Sherlock Gnomes
Do you like puns? How about gnome-related puns?… Okay, how about insanely dull and cringey gnome-related puns? Still a “yes”? Well, I guess I’ve found a perfect movie for you to watch.
This movie had no idea what it wants to be. Is it a thriller, a comedy action, or a sci-fi horror? The answer is none of the above. It’s just a very bad movie.
7. Fifty Shades Freed
Thank the Lord it’s the last installment of this horrifyingly stupid franchise.
They had Helen Mirren as the psychotic Sarah Winchester, who built the most haunted house of them all, and yet somehow they completely missed the mark. Probably due to the overuse of jump-scares. Who needs a plot when you can just go OOGA-BOOGA!?
9. Dark Crimes
It’s not every day you see Jim Carrey playing such a repulsive role. And maybe that’s for the better. I’d rather remember him as Ace Ventura than whatever the hell this is.
So this is a biopic about John Gotti, who was an Italian-American gangster back in the day, based on a book, based on teal events. Even from the trailer, it’s clear that John Travolta was not the right pick for this role.