The Guinness Book of World Records is an amazing thing. It’s the one way to become famous by excelling at something that’s really not at all that impressive. Ask the guy that caught the most balls with his mouth in two minutes how many times someone walked up to him and said: “are you that bloke who does things to balls with his mouth?” I can personally guarantee you that the handful of times that it did happen, they weren’t talking about his world record – if you know what I’m saying.
Apart from the “talents that aren’t useful in normal life” section, there’s also the very entertaining “these people were blessed by genetics or couldn’t be bothered to do basic hygienic tasks” section. The latter will be the one where we grab some people out of today. As the title of this article pretty much suggests, this won’t be a “biggest penis” article. Sorry. You can Google it for yourself if you really like, but I won’t be held accountable for the results. And a word of advice for the men out there: you’ll never find a picture of yourself in the results. Never. And you’ll just feel bad about yourself afterwards.
Anyway, without diving into the realm of genitalia, let’s take a look at 9 people with the longest body parts.
Longest Ear Hair – Radhakant Bajpai
This Indian man has the longest ear hair in the world, and, well, I have no words. For the length of his ear hair or the pride with which he shows it off. I am speechless.
Longest Tongue – Gerkary Bracho Blequett/Nick Stoeberl
While the current record is belongs to Nick Stoeberl with his 3.91 inch tongue, Gerkery Bracho Blequett claims to have a 4.5 inch tongue so should beat Nick’s record easily. Either way, it’s a weird sight.
Longest Eyelashes – Valery Smagliy
I have no idea how you even get this. Valery claims it’s his secret diet that makes his eyelashes pop, but I claim it’s Satan. Has to be. In either case he’s got THE perfect lashes if he decides to cross-dress and be a girl!
Longest Legs – Svetlana Pankratova and Chase Kennedy
With a whopping 51.9 inches long, this Russian woman has the longest legs in the world. She’s been holding that title since 2003. Recently model Chase Kennedy has started claims that her legs would be longer, but they’ve only been measured 51 inches long. Almost there! For now however, the Russian still has a leg up (hue hue hue).
Longest Toes – Matthew McGrory
Matthew, being a giant man, has some giant toes. His big toe is measured at a whopping 5 inches, giving him the world record and everyone else nightmares.
Longest Hair – Xie Qiuping
The world record for hating hairdressers is for Xie Qiuping, who has hair that’s 5.6 meters long. That means you can use it as a fire exit. Safety first, kids.
Longest Fingernails – Lee Redmond
This American lady-person decided she didn’t want to cut her nails anymore. She started growing them in 1979 and in 2008 they were measured at about 90 cm with a total length of 8.65 meters. I’ll bet she got nail clippers for Christmas all the time.
Longest Neck – Padaung Women in Myanmar
Using coils to extend their neck lengths, the Padaung women in Myanmar can have a neck length up to 40 cm, to the point where the neck can’t support the head without the coils. Adultresses have their coils removed – and effectively their necks snapped.
Longest Nose – Mehmet Ozyurek
This Turkish man has the dubious honor of having the longest nose in the world, which means he can smell what the Rock is cooking. Mehmet’s nose is measured at an impressive 3.5 inches.