Sometimes you really do wonder if someone in your current line of work would have what it takes to become a famous celebrity. Usually, the answer is a resounding „no“. That’s where I come in, since I’m the one that’ll prove to you that even the most horrible of job lines have at some point or another created a celebrity. And none of those current MTV-generation, D-list celebrities that are celebrities because they do stupid reality TV shows. Proper celebrities.
It’s hard for us plebs to imagine that the people we spend an unhealthy amount of time looking up to at some point had a regular job. At some point in their lives, these people were no different from us. So why did you end up in different places, you ask? Well, maybe that’s the question you should ask yourself.
Steve Buscemi – Firefighter
It’s hard to imagine Steve Buscemi’s being the first face you see when you’re being rescued out of a house fire, but apparently that was possible at some point.
Rihanna – Army Cadet
So she could probably wipe the floor with me. This isn’t doing my ego any favors.
Pierce Brosnan – Fire Eater
Not that big a step down from being James Bond, really. I guess Pierce has a thing for being a bona-fide badass.
Danny DeVito – Corpse Hairdresser
I didn’t even know this was a job before finding out Danny DeVito had it. Still one of the best Batman villains we’ve ever seen.
George Clooney – Every Awful Job You Can Think Of
He sold women’s shoes, was a door-to-door insurance salesman, worked in construction, cut tobacco, stocked shelves, …
Bob Ross – Air Force Sergeant
Tell me that doesn’t give a whole new meaning to the phrase „painting a target“.
Johnny Depp – Telemarketer
Apparently Johnny made only one sale and then talked the customer out of it. Not saying he was bad at his job, but let’s all be glad he turned into an actor instead.
Andrew Garfield – Starbucks
I wonder if he got all the names wrong, too.
Chris Pratt and Channing Tatum – Stripper
I’ll leave you girls some time to think about that. They didn’t strip in the same bar, as far as I’m aware.
Kate Winslet – Sandwich Maker
Kate definitely was the most gorgeous sandwich maker ever!
Hugh Jackman – Gym Teacher
Imagine my surprise when I found out that one of Hollywood’s fittest men actually taught people how to do sports before becoming an actor. I think I may need therapy to recover from this.
Megan Fox – Waitress
She actually quit because men couldn’t stop touching her body.
David Bowie – Butcher’s Delivery Boy
Imagine being that butcher and knowing you’re the only person ever to have been in a position where you’d get to yell at David Bowie and genuinely feel superior. Well, scratch that, he was married twice.
Liam Neeson – Teacher
Well, he trained to be a teacher. That’s fine, he didn’t fully finish Obi-Wan’s training either. He turned out alright.
Brad Pitt – El Pollo Loco Mascot
I thought I’d finish with the best one. No matter how bad your job is, you look at people being fast food restaurant mascots and think „thank God that’s not my job“. Remember next time: the guy in that suit could be the next Brad Pitt.
