Unless you’re Charles Xavier, influencing people is a pretty hard thing to do. Why? Because people have opinions, that’s why. And whether those opinions are right or wrong, it’ll be very hard to sway people from them. Very hard, but not impossible. If you want to be a manipulative asshole to the people in your life, here’s a few tips to help you along the way.
Get Favors
Seems weird, doesn’t it? But science has concluded that whenever someone does you a favor, they will judge you as a better person, because they figured you were worth doing the favor for. So just ask small stuff from people. Like borrowing a book or something. Or a Blu-Ray, if you’re not into reading. I won’t judge.
Use A Person’s Name or Title
This is pretty obvious. It might come off corny at times, but using someone’s name or title validates their existence. And since we’re all vain creatures, we treat people that validate us better.
Use Tiredness
Hit them when they’re weak – mentally, that is. Tired people will usually give a less definitive and more avoiding answer, along the likes of “I’ll take a look at it later”. And when “later” comes, you can collect whatever it is you wanted from them.
Get the Ball Rolling
Start off really low – an “offer they can’t refuse” – and work your way up gradually. Everyone has had this used against them at some point or another; usually preceded by the words “let’s just have one more drink here and then we can go home.”
Aim High
If you want someone to do something, let’s say go to a movie, it’s often better to ask for more. By having the person decline a greater offer, for example a movie and dinner, they’ll feel pretty bad for declining you once already. You’ll get the sympathy vote and your chances of having a movie partner have officially increased!
Use Body Language
Nodding to people whenever they talk shows you’re invested in whatever they’re saying. It tends to make people like you more when it seems like you’re genuinely listening.
Flattery
While this won’t work on everyone and shouldn’t be overdone by any means. It has to be sincere. If the flattery is sincere, however, it’ll get you a lot further with people with high self-esteem. Conclusion: people that think they’re awesome like you when you think they’re awesome too. People that don’t think they’re awesome think you’re a huge phallus when you think they’re awesome.
Mimicry
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery indeed. And since sincere flattery works, so must imitation. And it does. There. That one was easy.
Paraphrase
Don’t repeat what they say like a parrot – just paraphrase their words. Like the body language, this shows investment in the conversation and makes people like you more. It’s easy and pretty effective.
