Ah yes, girl power. With US Presidents telling fellow men to simply grab a wench by the nether regions, it’s become more apparent than ever that equality is nothing but something we try to convince ourselves happened so we don’t have to bother with trying to make it happen anymore.
We’d almost gotten so comfortable with women being able to vote and get decent jobs (for less money, but don’t be greedy, ladies!) that we forgot we’ve still got a long way to go. But that’s good, right? Gives us something to look forward to. Some easy improvements for society to make while we use those evolved brains of ours to tackle the other umpteen billion steps.
Anyway, because equality is an illusion anyway, let’s turn this thing around and take a look at some things women can do that men can’t. Or don’t want to.
Ask for directions
All right ladies, I’ll give you this one. We can read a map, though. I mean, most maps. And when we can’t read the map, you ask for directions. That’s how we work together, as a team.
Get multiple orgasms
Damn you!
Go to the bathroom with friends
Yeah, bros don’t pee together. And leave a free stall in between. We need our space.
Get out of a speeding ticket
I’ve tried winking at a cop once. He said he’d throw me in jail if I ever did that again.
Blame pretty much everything on PMS
That’s a minor plus for a very, very major minus though.
Wear skirts
I don’t care what Jaden Smith says, men wear kilts or pants.
Multitask
While science has proved men can do a single thing better than women, women are way better at doing multiple things at once.
Spend an evening at the bar for free
While it might not be very empowering to rely solely on your looks for free drinks, it’s a valid tactic and definitely not something that works for men.
Hit on younger men and not be a pervert
Pretty self-explanatory. Cougar, yes. Pedophile, no.
Get pregnant
Unless you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks for sticking one up for women, Arnie!
Live longer
Well, statistically speaking. You could also die younger. We’re talking averages here.
