Real talk here. I know you’ve been falling asleep lonely and sad, thinking to yourself “why isn’t Vince giving me any ideas on how to grow my own avocados?” Speak softly child, I hear your cries of desperation.
The most important thing when trying to grow an avocado, is making sure it actually ripens. No one is interested in your half-baked fruit (because technically avocado is a fruit, despite being green). Let me show you how it’s done. In five different ways, because I overperform for a living.
Cut The Microwave
Name one fruit that grows in a radiated environment. Now tell me what household appliance best resembles a radiated environment. Put two and two together here. Don’t microwave your fruit. If you microwave fruit, do everyone a favor and order food online.
Sunlight Might Not Be The Answer Either
I know what you’re thinking – natural ingredients require natural energy sources. And the biggest energy source of them all is flying in the sky like a 70’s disco ball. Obviously putting vegetables in sunlight will ripen them, but it’ll make avocado mushy. It’ll turn it into a guacamole before you decided you wanted guacamole. You don’t want your food to choose your dish for you, you make the calls around here!
The Paper Bag + Apple Trick
Remember that science class where they teach you that fruit in paper bags ripen faster than regular fruit? Neither do I! But apparently, they do. Except for avocados! After multiple days, your avocado will still be hard as a rock. As Yoda would say: not very pleasant to eat, that is.
Maybe The Refrigerator Then
Apart from the red tint on the outside, putting avocado in a fridge will be fine. If you’re surprised because of this, remember where you put your dang avocado when you buy it in the first place. It ain’t in the oven.
When In Doubt, Try Harder
Remember the paper bag trick that didn’t work? If you put a few inches of flour in your bag before you put the avocado in, it’ll ripen pretty much perfectly. You could also learn how to do proper shopping and buy an already ripe avocado in the first place, but I’m not one to judge.
