Maintaining proper sleep hygiene is the key to a peaceful bedroom. Still, many people use their beds to eat, work, and argue. While arguments will vary for every couple, one of the most surprising topics is whether or not partners swap sides of the bed or stick with their side consistently. Here are some other ground rules you should follow to ensure your bedroom stays a sanctuary—not a battleground.
Can you take your tablet or phone to bed with you?
In short, the answer is no. These devices will prevent you from sleeping well, leading to racing thoughts and anxiety about work and other stressors. Many sleep doctors urge people to use an alarm clock that isn’t their smartphone to avoid the pitfall of checking your phone in the middle of the night.
Our phones are representative of our waking lives, and they also emit blue light (yes, even with the Night Shift setting) that impacts our light-sensitive eyes, spiking cortisol while preventing the release of melatonin. All of these things prevent you from sleeping, so stop scrolling and checking your email. Better yet, buy a proper alarm clock and keep that phone downstairs on silent when you go to bed!
Is it ok to eat food in bed?
Ideally, your bed should be used for two things only: sex and sleep. Beyond the fact that crumbs and spills in your bed are gross, eating food late at night means your body is digesting these foods when you should be sleeping. While you can technically eat breakfast in bed in the morning, we stick by our statement that crumbs in your sheets aren’t cute. Additionally, doing non-sleep-related activities in your bedroom will make falling asleep at night harder.
Should couples have separate blankets or duvets?
Having separate duvets or blankets can significantly improve the quality of sleep for couples. This might not be necessary if you both sleep well, have the same temperature preferences, and are happy sharing a blanket. However, some people are hot sleepers while others are cold sleepers. Some are light sleepers; others snore heavily and don’t wake easily. And, of course, you have the dreaded people who unknowingly pull the blanket away from their partner. All these things can lead to bad sleep—and resentment!
Is sleeping somewhere else okay if your partner is sleeping and you can’t?
Couples often have different sleeping patterns (and different sleep hygiene), so sharing a bed, aka co-sleeping, may not always be feasible. For some people, giving up the intimacy of sleeping with each other may be worth days filled with fatigue. If you value your sleep and can make time for intimacy, sleeping in separate bedrooms is fine and doesn’t mean your relationship is broken. After all, constantly getting up in the middle of the night to sleep on the sofa doesn’t sound like the most pleasant experience.
Whose job is it to tend to a crying baby?
Unfortunately, this will often end up being the responsibility of the lighter sleeper or the person who is breastfeeding the child. But if this is the case, the person getting more rest should pick up the slack throughout the daytime, knowing that their partner is on nocturnal duties. If you can find a way to balance out the scales at night and take turns, then by all means, do that!
How to minimize disturbance from an alarm clock
While waking up from an alarm can be jarring and stressful, it’s better than waking up hours late and getting reprimanded at your workplace or being late to an interview. Rather than minimizing alarm disturbances, try to find an alarm (either on your phone or a separate alarm clock if you’re prioritizing sleep hygiene) that wakes you up but doesn’t give you an extreme panic attack in the process.
How to deal with a snoring partner
While you can shove someone in their sleep to temporarily stop snoring, it will inevitably happen again. If someone has temporary sinus issues, it’s best to try to practice compassion and be understanding, either by putting up with it or sleeping in another room. If someone has insomnia due to their partner sleeping, this is another valid reason to sleep in separate rooms.
Who makes the bed?
Teamwork makes the dream work, so make the bed together! Of course, such an arrangement won’t always be possible if one of you has to get up much earlier than the other in the morning. And even if you are both free, one person might feel like relaxing and not want to attempt this chore. If one of you prefers having a made bed, that person will probably be the one who takes over that responsibility more often.
Can the dog sleep in bed with you?
If one of you is vehemently against this, then Fido will probably be sleeping on the floor in their own doggie bed. But if you both want your pup in the bed and no one is sensitive to a furry and sometimes stinky presence that steals the blanket, yes, it’s ok for your dog to sleep in the bed!
So, is it okay to swap sides in bed?
Ultimately, this is a very personal decision, and it’s totally up to you whether you want to swap sides, sleep in different rooms, or take turns on the couch based on whatever nighttime shenanigans are happening.
